No Longer Tolerate The 2 Biggest Fears That Hold You Back
Fear Of Failure
Ever been scared to raise your hand in class, because you just knew that you’ll hear the other kids in the class making fun of your dumb or wrong answers or questions. This feeling makes you not want to raise your hand anymore after a while you’ll start to say things like ” I can’t.” Maybe even start to feel yourself breathing fast, your heart beat faster and you throat closing. The class room scenario and the physical examples are all apart of one of the greatest obstacles, the fear of failure.
The fear of failure can be the biggest obstacle in our way to success. we’re too scared to make a mistake, because we’re thinking of what others might think and seeking someone else’s approval so you can get the feeling of security. Well, you know that it doesn’t matter what you assume others may say. If you really want to know ask. That feeling of security, your know what that feels like. Produce that energy for your self. Researching, studying your subject and knowing it well will greatly reduce your fear of failure. Think of it like this, people who are scared of the dark are no longer scared when the lights are on and you can see what’s there. When you know your subject well the lights are always on and you can see your task before you.
Fear Of Rejection
When parents base their love on how well their children behave, for example when the child does what pleases the parent, the parent will reward the child with approval and love. If the child displeases the parent, affections are taken away. This is interpret as rejection. The fear of rejection is the second biggest fear that messes with our expression and performance. There’s a story of a baby elephant, who’s leg is tide to a tree with a rope. Being small the baby doesn’t know that when she’s an adult she can snap that rope or even bring down that tree. She’s been conditioned to think that, because I couldn’t when I was younger, I can’t do this now as an adult. I want you to know that you’re an adult human and the things that happened to you in your pass doesn’t have to continue through out your life. Notice what’s tying you down or what your anchored to. As an adult you can break free of these things. Just by being aware. So, pay attention to your surrounds and the people you hag out with.
Think of rejection like this, a no is an easy out for you. You only have more work when there’s a yes, because then you’re expected to follow through with word. If that first no, isn’t what you wanted to hear, ask someone else. I had a marketing teacher who said “If you’re speaking to someone and they tell you no then you’re speaking to the wrong person.” Don’t give up, learn, adjust and move forward. Rejection doesn’t have to be the end, unless you want to use it as an excuses for giving up and giving up is the only real failure. I’m not saying keep repeating the same mistakes, that insanity. I want you to learn, adjust and move forward by trying another way.
People who are raised by parents who based their approval and love on behavior most likely become Type A Personalities. Many men develop this behavior. Type A can look like hostility, suspicion, and obsession with performance to some unknown high standards. You’ll hear Type A people say “I have to” because they feel like they have to work hard to accomplish more so that they can please their boss. Who just happens to be their surrogate parent. 99 percent of adults will experience the fears of failure and rejection, because they’ll get caught up in a feeling of “I can’t, but I have to.”
The cure to these 2 big fears is the development of charter, courage and self esteem. I’ve read that the opposite of fear is love, but I’ve heard Tim Ferriss say that “fear and love are the same coin and what we should be looking for is fun and excitement an entirely different coin.”
When you act like you have courage when you’re scared, your building regard for yourself. Which will make fear loss it’s effect on your behavior and your decisions.
Do this to build your self esteem and confidence.
#1. Recognize and accept that you are capable. When you research, study and know your subject well. Say these words out loud as you write them down – I am capable! I got this! I can do this! When ever you feel hindered. Remember what it felt like when you were capable of a task, when you did something great or when you handled things for others. Remember those good feelings and Carry them with you to your next goal.
#2. Know that you are blessed and be grateful for what you have. Know that failure is apart of learning.
Do this for one month and document your results daily on a calendar or a journal. Every 3 days review your progress and make adjustment as needed.